


underneath the moonlight

by suicidalbcstard



Series: [ angst fics ] [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Fluff and Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, i like writing angst sorry, i’m not sorry actually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:36:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26816719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suicidalbcstard/pseuds/suicidalbcstard
Summary: he just wished that he was given another chance to do things very differently.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Series: [ angst fics ] [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1955890
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28





	underneath the moonlight

kuroo tetsurou found peace in doing absolutely nothing in the comforts of his silent home. ever since he graduated from high school, he made this decision to move out of his parent’s house and finally make money for himself.

despite being a fully grown man at the ripe age of twenty two, he was still pining over the same boy ever since they were kids. it frustrated him to no end, his mind clouded with just memories of himself with this boy, and he would constantly brush it off as he missed that same person.

kuroo tetsurou just refused to accept the fact that he was in love with his childhood bestfriend. even his dense best friend, bokuto, could tell that kuroo was madly in love with this man. hell, even daishou knew, even though he and kuroo had recently just became best friends again after a rough childhood.

he sat on the comfortable couch in the living room, flicking through channels to cure his boredom, legs apart and one arm over the couch backrest. his blew a few strands of his jet black hair out of his face, scowling deeply in annoyance. 

“for _fucks_ sake, do i just shave off everything?” the ex-captain for the nekoma high volleyball team says to himself, before finally settling on a channel that he had never seen before. his phone was vibrating, but he purposely chose to ignore it, playing it off as he was busy when he really was not.

groaning loudly, he soon got bored of the channel he was watching, ultimately turning off the television and just tilting his head back. obviously, that made him more bored as he sighed, annoyedly checking his phone to see who actually kept spamming him with useless messages at this time of the day.

“kuroo!” the door slams open, and kuroo is scared out of his wits as his two best friends come in, sly eyes narrowing even further as they scrutinise kuroo’s appearance, while the other has bright eyes as he smiled happily, waving at kuroo.

of course, daishou and bokuto are the only ones who would barge into kuroo’s home. they, along with another person, are also the only ones who know of his exact location, props to them. not even kuroo’s parents know where he lived, or what he’s doing currently. he smiled weakly at the two of them, shaking his head before the two of them dump their things and jump on the couch. 

kuroo is soon wrapped in two pairs of strong arms, similar to his own as he basked in the warmth that the two boys gave him. he looks at them, and they both soften at the look on kuroo’s face, wiping the tears that he didn’t knew were streaming down his tanned face.

“come on, what happened?” daishou was the first to speak up, while bokuto hugs him tightly. the black haired man shrugged lightly, unable to properly tell him how he was currently feeling. it was a jumble of mixed emotions, like depression, hatred and much more.

“i..don’t know. my mind is all over the place, and i still can’t get over the news.” kuroo’s voice came out close to a whimper, and bokuto’s excited demeanour dissipated as he sadly looked over at his best friend of almost seven years. 

news flash, the same boy he was pining for the past decade and more was dating someone else. kenma kozume, kuroo’s long time crush and childhood best friend, was now dating hinata shōyō, a MSBY professional volleyball player, like bokuto. 

“oh tetsu..” daishou whispers as he pulls both bokuto and kuroo into a hug, the latter squished in between his two best friends. he let out a soft sigh, clutching his shirt, before looking up at them nervously. this was going to change their lives forever.

“guys..” he muttered, and the two immediately shift their attention to him, as he became nervous, hands shaking as tears started to form in his eyes. he’s been doing that a lot lately, every since he got his heart broken when he found out kenma was dating hinata. 

“i have ALS.” his eyes closed, and all he could hear was nothing. only breathing, as he slowly but surely opened his eyes again. he looks at the both of them, unsure of what their reactions would be, but his eyes widened when he saw the both of them with tears in their eyes. 

“it’s true?” bokuto looks at kuroo, who froze. he does remember telling the both of them that he could possibly be sick, as he sometimes felt his muscles feeling weaker than usual, but pushed it aside. it was when he visited the doctor after it became more frequent was he diagnosed with ALS. 

he hears daishou’s breath hitch as he nodded, before looking down. it was all too sudden, he himself did not know how he even got it, but his life came crashing down when it finally registered in his brain, that he was going to die sooner or later.

truly, what a waste of a good life. kuroo could hear sniffling, as he looked up to see the both of them wiping their tears rapidly with the back of their hands, and he softened immediately as he sat in front of them, his hands on their legs in a pathetic effort to comfort them.

kuroo knew his other best friend was the one that came through the door. oikawa stood there, looking at the three of them, a flicker of concern in his brown eyes as he sat down beside daishou. he looks at kuroo worriedly, and he broke the news to oikawa.

said man froze, looking at kuroo, before smiling sadly. he sits up, before inching closer to kuroo and grabbing him into a hug. kuroo felt his body shake as he held onto oikawa, who was soothing him gently and rubbing his back. he really knew how to comfort someone, surprisingly so.

“shhh. it’s never too late to get things off your chest, tetsurou. none of us will force you to confess, we want you to live your life to the fullest.” oikawa said, caressing kuroo’s cheek as the latter leaned into the touch. oikawa uses his other hand to pull the other two in, and he comforts them as well.

oikawa really matured after graduating high school. the three of them sobbed as the brunette comforts them softly, humming lullabies and telling them that there was still time. they were still together as a group, no one was going to get in their way of making kuroo’s life the best in his last moments. 

“come, how about we take a breather and watch netflix together? i’ll order takeout, and i’ll answer your texts and calls for you.” oikawa makes them sit up properly on the couch as he turns the television back on, and went to netflix to pick some sappy movie the four of them can cringe at together.

—

the brunette looks at the three boys fast asleep on the couch as he cleans up. he chuckled lowly, an arm over his face as he shakes his head. who would’ve thought the four of them would become best friends, much less oikawa becoming the mother of their friend group?

he didn’t mind. after cleaning up after the sleeping men that had blotchy faces with swelled eyes, he walks towards them and smiles, brushing their bangs away from their faces and kissing all of their forehead gently, sitting down on the other couch and closing his eyes.

a few hours later, they woke up one by one, as their phones were ringing loudly and many calls were coming their way. the first to wake up was daishou, who looked at oikawa’s phone. the latter never turned off his phone anyways, so he snuck a peek.

he almost drops the phone. eyes blinking rapidly, he shakes his head and hurriedly turns off all of their phones. daishou looks at kuroo worriedly, right as oikawa shifts, bumping into daishou’s leg and waking up. he makes eye contact with a frantic daishou.

oikawa rubs the sleep away from his chocolate eyes, looking at daishou with interest as the snake like boy shows oikawa the message on his phone. the brunette’s eyes widen, and he cursed under his breath, both of them looking in kuroo’s direction.

he soon wakes up, looking at the both of them, blinking awkwardly before checking his phone. daishou tries to stop him, but he turns his phone on only to be met with the message that just ripped his heart out from his chest. 

“kuroo..” daishou reaches out to hold kuroo, who almost looked like he was about to shatter in a thousand bits. bokuto was shaken awake by oikawa, who looks at his phone and shakily puts it back down, looking at kuroo worriedly and sadly. 

the three of them hold kuroo, as he shook violently in their arms, unable to form coherent and proper sentences, tears forming in his eyes as he sobbed. their phones laid on the table, photo attachments sent to bokuto and oikawa along with a message that none of them wanted to look at right now.

‘we’re getting married!’ 

—

the next time kuroo met with kenma, the latter was hinata while kuroo was with the three idiots he called his best friends. the black haired man smiled at the gamer and his boyfriend-now-fiancé, congratulating them with a pained smile on his face. oikawa was holding onto kuroo gently, smiling at the both of them.

“you okay, kuroo-san?” hinata asks, and kuroo smiles, waving it off as he ruffle’s oikawa’s hair.

“he lost a bet and now he has to be my walking support from now on.” kuroo smoothly lied through his teeth, catching the concerned looks from his three best friends. hinata talks to bokuto, who immediately brightens up, despite the smile on his face looking pinched, daishou standing close to kuroo.

his legs were weaker now, disrupting his ability to walk. if oikawa weren’t there to support him, he would’ve fallen half the time and he was eternally grateful for the brunette for going along with his string of lies. kenma surveyed him, before nodding and grabbing his fiancé’s hand and waving, before walking away.

the moment they were out of sight, oikawa looks at kuroo. he holds onto the man tightly, eyes widening as the black haired man opened his mouth, before trying to speak. however, nothing came out for a few seconds, before his voice finally came out.

they look at kuroo, his own cat like eyes widening slightly at the fact that his speech was becoming delayed. he closed his eyes, and daishou soon came back with the wheelchair that the doctor made kuroo use, as he sat down and covered his face.

walking along the streets of tokyo, they roamed around and looked at shops, keeping silent so kuroo could be at peace at least. bokuto quickly sends a reply to akaashi’s message about whether or not they were going for the wedding, and bokuto said no.

“famous hinata shōyō from MSBY, engaged to famous gamer kodzuken?” were on the headlines, causing them to scowl and look away, before going towards a very nostalgic area. kuroo smiled, looking at the park that he and kenma used to play at when they were kids. 

oikawa helps kuroo off as the four of them sit in the green grass after bokuto laid out a massive blanket for all of them. the four of them sat down, looking at all of the children that were playing happily on the playground and the sand nearing the ocean.

daishou couldn’t help but snicker at a kid that fell on his ass. kuroo stares at him in fake shock at the fact his own best friend laughed at a kid that fell. daishou sticks his tongue out for now, smiling softly at the fact he had managed to get kuroo to divert his attention to something else for now.

bokuto was talking to oikawa softly, which surprised them as he looked serious, and wasn’t joking around so much. oikawa nods solemnly, before shaking his head. the cat and the snake watch as the owl and the plant talk about something they were unaware of.

the white-black haired male nods, taking his phone out and his fingers hovered over the keyboard for a fraction of a second before finally typing on his phone. his fingers were nimble, rapidly typing as if it was a timed moment, a soft sigh escaping from his mouth. they relax and bask in the presence of the sun, with kuroo eventually falling asleep.

—

“i do believe that aliens are real!” the brunette pouts, a few months after they had their picnic. kuroo rolled his eyes, not saying anything as he laid in bed, listening to oikawa rant about aliens which shifted to iwaizumi and also volleyball. the black haired man proceeds to listen intently, mostly without saying anything.

bokuto and daishou were out of town, the latter going on a trip with his ex teammates while bokuto had a competition coming up. kuroo would’ve loved to see the match, but he was currently on bed rest after the doctors found out that his muscles were slowly wasting away, as the motor neurons in his brain were degenerating slowly. 

oikawa had agreed to take care of kuroo while the both of them went on to do their things. iwaizumi, who was oikawa’s boyfriend, was skeptical as to why oikawa visited kuroo everyday, up until oikawa revealed the real reason why he was always gone and visiting the ex-captain. 

the ex-ace’s eyes widened when oikawa told him that kuroo was slowly dying from lou gehrig’s disease, and that he was unable to walk and his speech ability was starting to get delayed, so he volunteered to take care of kuroo in case something happens and he can’t call for help.

eventually, the both of them were over at kuroo’s house, sleeping there and taking care of the bed-ridden man. kuroo at first looked slightly worried that iwaizumi knew, but soon learned that he was trustworthy, so he learned more about his best friend’s aggressive boyfriend.

“kuroo? how are you?” iwaizumi asked as he walked in, and his eyes softened at the scene. oikawa was sleeping, his arm and head on the bed while kuroo tried to open his mouth and talk to him. his speech was delayed, and after his voice came out, it was slow and soft.

“...fine..” kuroo managed to choke out after a solid two minutes of waiting. iwaizumi knew that was a lie, with kenma’s wedding date getting closer and closer, while kuroo’s health deteriorates faster and faster, who wouldn’t be a little solemn.

iwaizumi looks at the man in front of him, hollow cheeks and dull eyes. this was definitely not the person he once saw on the court. kuroo was not like this back then, but even then it was a very different sight than what they were all most definitely used to.

the spiky haired man nods curtly, unable to say anything as he sat down on the other side of kuroo’s bed, smiling softly at the man. kuroo was struggling to speak, as his mouth’s movement was also slower than a normal person’s, to which frustrated him to no end. 

“hey, it’s alright if you can’t speak at the moment. you don’t have to.” iwaizumi reassures his new-found friend, who smiled weakly at him, the end of kuroo’s lips twitching as they failed to hold up the pained smile on his face for very long. he holds kuroo’s hand, reassuring that everything was alright.

oikawa woke up after a few minutes, sleepily rubbing his eyes to see his boyfriend keeping kuroo company. the latter was nodding every now and then, a tiny smile playing on his lips as that was all he could manage now, his eyes sparkling as iwaizumi talked about what was going on with everybody.

the brunette smiles softly, shaking his head as he took his phone out to see if he received any new messages from his friends. his eye caught a message from bokuto, who had requested for them to go watch the match, and that he would try his best to keep hinata away from kuroo to the best of his ability.

bokuto’s last message brought a smile to oikawa’s face.

‘i want tetsu to at least see a good volleyball match before he leaves.’ 

oikawa sighed, rubbing his eyes as he looked over at kuroo and iwaizumi, who were now looking at him. he waved it off as he wiped the stray tears from his eyes, but his effort and attempt was futile as the tears streamed down his face, closing his eyes.

kuroo reached over slowly, bringing his hand up to wipe oikawa’s tears away. the brunette’s eyes fly wide open, as he looked at kuroo in shock, while awaiting whatever he wanted to say as his mouth opened.

“volleyball..bokuto?” oikawa nods at kuroo’s short question, and the man’s cat like eyes sparkled even more at the mention of his favourite sport and his best friend, as he nodded as slowly as he could. oikawa watches as kuroo sits up ever so slowly, and iwaizumi helps him as oikawa finally gives in, telling his boyfriend to help kuroo down the stairs. 

oikawa heads down, and he tells iwaizumi to put kuroo on his wheelchair, as the male grinned, wearing a black hoodie and sweatpants. he looked awful, with his diagnosed depression and ALS hitting him like a truck. iwaizumi grabs their bags and wallets, and food just in case kuroo got hungry.

they head off to iwaizumi’s car, and they drive off to the location of the match, where bokuto kept updating oikawa about whether kenma was there or not. he had noticed something different about bokuto, and it was the fact that he had felt something distasteful about kenma. throughout the years that oikawa has known him, bokuto was never one to feel hatred towards a person.

he shakes his head, brushing it off as they took about twenty minutes to arrive at the stadium. bokuto had told them to inform the guards that they were with him, so they would be let in to a spot reserved for the family members of the players themselves.

they go in, oikawa sighing as he missed the feeling of being in such a large stadium. currently, it wasn’t season for the argentina team, so oikawa had no reason to go back to argentina yet. also because he stayed with his boyfriend here to take care of kuroo and catch up with his best friends.

kuroo watches in awe at the starting of the match. bokuto looks up, smiling softly at kuroo, giving him a thumbs up. kuroo grinned weakly, eyes sparkling as he cheered his best friend on silently. hinata’s eyes dart to oikawa, who was smirking at him.

hinata looks at kuroo, tilting his head. iwaizumi intervenes, waving at the orange headed male, who smiles and waved back, before facing the opponents as the game starts. they both sigh in unison, rubbing kuroo’s back as he watched intently from his wheelchair. 

iwaizumi hits oikawa really hard when he spots kenma. oikawa rushes to pull tighten kuroo’s hood, so he won’t be seen, and they sigh in relief as kenma doesn’t notice anything. they calmly watch the match, as kuroo cheers bokuto on when he spikes and gains a point for the team.

when they had a timeout, MSBY was in the lead with a score of 19-16. kuroo watches as bokuto looks up once again, waving at the three of them, which causes atsumu, sakusa and hinata to look up. atsumu flips oikawa off, who flips him off back, the both of them smiling happily at the sight of an old friend.

“hi grand king!” hinata said cheerfully, and oikawa awkwardly waved back, not knowing how to act around the boy anymore. bokuto looked behind them and his face soon replaced with a deep scowl, not saying anything as he looked away. 

oikawa knew that kenma was behind them, but he sighed and ignored it for now as he watches them go back onto the court, bokuto looking much more agitated than usual, but didn’t say anything. 

—

in the end, MSBY won as kuroo cheers loudly. oikawa watches while cheering loudly, while iwaizumi just smiled and clapped for them. bokuto tells them to come down, and oikawa looked at him in alarm, shaking his head. bokuto pouts, but nods either way as he goes up to meet up with them.

suddenly, loud cheers were heard as they turn around to see kenma and hinata together. sakusa scowled in disgust as atsumu chuckled, while bokuto turned around to walk away. he really had no reason to be so hateful towards kenma, but the latter was the exact reason why his poor best friend was suffering silently.

“hey guys!” he immediately brightens up as he sees iwaizumi and oikawa with kuroo. he rushes to hug kuroo despite still being in his jersey, smothering the man in a tight hug and didn’t plan on letting go. bokuto sighs in content, smiling sadly at kuroo, before letting go. 

kuroo couldn’t hug back, but pushed his head closer to bokuto, as a gesture saying that he did well. bokuto’s heart ached as he smiled, nodding. oikawa looks over the railings, seeing hinata and kenma kissing off court, reporters catching it live. 

“oh come on, in front of everybody?” bokuto sighed, before looking at kuroo worriedly. the man shakes his head, smiling slowly as he slowly told them that he wanted to go back home, and was glad that he could finally get out of the house and watch a good volleyball match after so long.

they nod, leaving for kuroo’s house when iwaizumi, who was pushing kuroo’s wheelchair, caught sight of kenma and hinata. he nudges oikawa, before walking away with kuroo and going back first. oikawa nods after catching onto whatever his boyfriend was talking about.

iwaizumi smiles and pushes kuroo away right when hinata spots bokuto. the two of them walk towards oikawa and bokuto, while iwaizumi led kuroo away to avoid the energetic orange haired man and his childhood best friend. let’s be honest, really? 

oikawa and bokuto stick to chatting with the both of them to give iwaizumi time to get into the car with kuroo so they would be out of sight. the brunette steps on bokuto’s foot when he noticed the latter feeling extremely restless and was _this_ close to scowling deeply.

“that’s great! i hope you have fun at your wedding,” oikawa said with a pinched smile.

“are you going, grand king? bokuto-san?” hinata asks, smiling hopefully at the both of them. they look at each other nervously, before nodding slightly. he smiles brightly, cheering before grabbing his fiancé’s hand and walking away. they sigh in relief as bokuto drags oikawa to get his things. 

“yea no. we are not going for that wedding.” oikawa said, blinking blankly as bokuto gathers his things. daishou was coming back the next day, so they were going to hang out at kuroo’s first. speaking of him, he was fast asleep in the car.

they climbed in, iwaizumi starting up the car and playing some soft music, as bokuto sat at the back beside kuroo. he pulls kuroo so the man was laying on his lap, and bokuto smiles, brushing kuroo’s bangs away so both of his eyes were clearly visible. he sincerely hoped that no one would notice that he and oikawa weren’t going for the wedding.

bokuto pats kuroo’s head before leaning back into the seat, closing his eyes as well so he could sleep. he could hear oikawa and iwaizumi talking about something, making him smile softly as he falls asleep.

—

kuroo’s health was deteriorating faster and faster. he was now unable to swallow his food, which caused acute inflammation in his lungs due to the inhaling of food. daishou was sitting beside kuroo’s bed in the hospital, as the man slept peacefully.

“you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” daishou cursed as he looks up at the ceiling, tilting his head back and closing his eyes tightly in hopes of finally waking up from this horrible nightmare. kuroo’s case of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis was faster than others, the process continuing faster than usual.

he was one of the unlucky people who got symptoms very late in and also having the disease to spread and develop faster than others. daishou brushed kuroo’s bangs away from his pale face, smiling painfully as he heard the heart monitor beep slowly. 

“how long has it been since he first told us?” he asks oikawa, who looks down and counts silently. his eyes widen slightly as he looks up at daishou, flashing five fingers. daishou sighs, before nodding and humming softly to ease the tension in the room.

“GUYS.” bokuto rushes in, panting as he immediately presses his back against the wall. the two of them perk up at the panic in his voice as he makes sure that his back was pressed against properly so nobody could come in. he catches his breathe while raising an arm up to gesture that he needs a breather first.

“so kenma and hinata are now suspicious of me, but i swear to god i did not do anything.” bokuto said in a panic, and oikawa rose from his seat, softly telling bokuto to move as he pokes his head out of the room and puts the ‘do not disturb’ sign on and closes the door, locking it.

“did they possibly follow you here?” oikawa asked in a levelled voice as daishou continues to softly sing to kuroo, and bokuto shrugged, claiming that he saw the both of them eyeing him as he rushed off here. oikawa nods, and told him to stay put because surely they wouldn’t follow him like a bunch of stalkers. 

they sat there quietly, until kuroo’s eyes fly wide open, his muscles start twitching as the tears form in his eyes. daishou holds his hand, which felt extremely tended and was gripping daishou’s hand tightly, as he looked like he was spasming. bokuto and oikawa watch as kuroo closed his eyes in pain. 

“kuroo?” oikawa asks after a while, watching kuroo pant, clearly out of breath and exhausted after his muscles twitched for what seemed like a solid ten minutes. he looked like he was in pain, trying to replenish his energy while holding daishou’s hand.

“the wedding’s in two months..” bokuto mentions, and they tense. daishou was not invited, since no one really knew of him, while akaashi and iwaizumi were trying to convince bokuto and oikawa to go. though iwaizumi was more reluctant on asking, since he clearly knew that oikawa was not a big fan of weddings, especially of the people that were hurting his best friend.

but what could they really do, it wasn’t nice to not go for such an important event when the two said men had no idea of what was going on. oikawa chuckled bitterly, still not changing his mind about refusing to go for such an event. iwaizumi accepted and said that he’ll go alone. however, akaashi didn’t know anything.

“keiji is still trying to get me to go for it. i don’t know how to tell him i refuse to go,” bokuto ran a hand through his hair, as it was down for now. oikawa perks up at the mention of a fellow ex-setter, but deflates when he realised that none of the setters talked anymore.

“speaking of akaashi-chan, maybe i should pester for a setter meetup. then i can find out about stuff!” oikawa’s eyes light up, and bokuto smirked, agreeing with this tactic, and oikawa sighed before texting in the setter chat after what seemed like years.

“what a bitch. anyways, we’re meeting up in two days. your fiancé is coming along.” oikawa poked bokuto, who nods. now that they think about it, no one really knew about the four of them being best friends ever since they graduated from high school. oikawa froze, looking at his phone, shivering.

“kenma’s going.” 

— [not much kuroo but it’s because he’s unable to walk]

oikawa was pushed out of the car by daishou, who told him that he’ll be waiting. oikawa stuck out his tongue, earning an eye roll. he walks over to the meeting place, hands in his pockets as he wore black pants and a white and teal sweater. he wore dr martens and he could hear a bunch of talking nearby. 

“oikawa!” suga called out, and oikawa notices they all had plus ones. he forgot that they were bringing people. which meant hinata and kenma were there. oikawa smiled nervously, before reaching them and holding his phone in his hand. he looks down before demanding daishou to come to where he was and follow him as a plus one since iwaizumi was overseas.

“hey guys.” oikawa smiled, noticing all the setters were there. of course suga was with daichi, shirabu was with semi, kenma was with hinata, kageyama was alone because his friend was busy. atsumu was with sakusa, akaashi with bokuto. 

bokuto secretly flipped oikawa off, and the guy gasps in offence. daishou was slowly walking towards them, and scared bokuto. the green haired man smirks before walking towards oikawa, before the latter grabs him and pulls him into a tight hug, thanking the god he was still here. daishou groans but settles to hug back.

“didn’t know you have other friends? introduce him to us!” suga said, smiling brightly as oikawa snickered while pushing daishou forward. the man groaned and elbowed oikawa in the stomach before crossing his arms and smiling at them.

“i’m daishou. i used to be from nohebi high school.” daishou smiles nervously as he inches closer to oikawa since he was unfamiliar with all of them excluding kenma and hinata for obvious reasons. the other setters all walk up to him and start talking to him, leaving oikawa with kageyama, hinata and kenma. 

“hi tooru-san.” kageyama said, offering a small smile in oikawa’s direction as the older male ruffles kageyama’s black hair. the latter smiled brightly, and oikawa chuckles at how different he looks now.

“hey tobio. how’s working with the adlers? i heard wakatoshi is in your team.” oikawa smirks, nudging kageyama, while the latter smiles brightly at the mention of someone he looks up to. the two of them talk to each other, until daishou grabs oikawa’s collar.

“i got a message from my ex, mika,” daishou whispers into oikawa’s ear, and the brunette gestures for him to continue, since daishou’s sister agreed to take care of kuroo while the three of them went out. daishou continues to whisper, and oikawa felt his body tense up almost immediately. 

“how’s the wedding planning?” akaashi asked, who was still holding onto bokuto’s hand. oikawa and daishou snorted at how lovesick bokuto looked right now, and the green haired man took a picture and sent it to kuroo for blackmail. 

they talked about the wedding, up until daichi walks up to oikawa, raising an eyebrow. the karasuno ex captain was oddly suspicious about oikawa and daishou knowing about kuroo’s whereabouts. he crossed his arms before looking at them, and they started sweating profusely.

“where’s kuroo?” he asked quietly in a whisper, and oikawa froze. he shrugged, pretending that he had no clue, but they had managed to grab everybody’s attention, and daichi was not exactly soft spoken, especially when he intends to be.

“i don’t know where kuroo is.” oikawa said firmly, eyes narrowed as daishou grips his hand, shaking his head. oikawa sighed, releasing the tension in his shoulder before thanking daishou.

“we do know. but it’s confidential.” daishou said sweetly, and they notice bokuto nod.

“is this why you’re always out the house?” akaashi asks bokuto, and he shrugs. the three of them ignore all of their questions, when oikawa’s phone started ringing, and so did daishou’s. the three of them pick up, excusing themselves for a moment.

_”suguru! kuroo’s convulsing! his muscles are unable to contract and it’s stopping him from breathing! get here, now.”_ mika screams through the phone, sounding incredibly frantic as daishou mumbles an answer before shaking.

oikawa received a call from a nurse, and he got the same news as daishou. bokuto’s eyes widened at the look of pure fear and panic in their eyes. he turns towards the others, bowing his head and apologising softly before grabbing their hands and running off.

“i-is he going to die?” oikawa’s frantic voice was heard by the both of them, as the three of them rush on immediately. the others stare in confusion, hinata and suga getting curious and asked if they could follow them. they reluctantly agree, quickly following them. daishou was on the verge of tears as he jumps into the driver seat.

he starts up the car immediately, with oikawa holding the phone. mika’s voice was heard throughout the car as the car engine starts up, before daishou quickly drives off. he was incredibly jittery as he gripped the steering wheel, with mika claiming that kuroo was looking like he wanted to be disenthralled.

upon reaching the hospital, oikawa and bokuto rush out, as daishou quickly parked the car. they speed walked in, avoiding everybody and once they saw it was clear, they started sprinting towards kuroo’s room. mika was outside sobbing, when they were forced to look in. kuroo looked like he was in immense pain, convulsing as doctors and nurses tried to stop it.

suga was by the corner, with the others as they watch. oikawa watches as bokuto, daishou and mika break down crying, while he pulls the three of them into a tight hug as the cried. he leans against the glass, rubbing their backs soothingly while his own eyes drained of emotion. suga forgets to hide and makes eye contact with oikawa, who looks angry.

he looked beyond livid, as he drags his hand across his throat before putting a finger to his lips threateningly. they nod, before he lets go of the three of them, telling them that kuroo will survive and that there was nothing to worry about. 

oikawa sends the three of them to the bathroom, when a doctor comes out of the hospital room. the intruders watch, and they hear dreadful words coming out of the doctor’s mouth.

“mr. kuroo narrowly avoided death as he got his muscles to contract. though i’m unsure of how long he has left to live. kid, you’re so lucky.” 

“why?” the brunette asks softly.

“i can tell that kuroo is trying to stay alive for you and the two other boys.” the doctor said, before telling oikawa about kuroo’s current condition, before patting his back and walking away. oikawa’s eyes fill with tears at the news. kuroo had a slim chance of surviving, and he’s fighting off the pain. he was forced into a drug-induced coma, so this won’t repeat any time soon.

apparently, the convulsions can cause his body to weaken significantly, and eventually he would be too weak to fight off the lack of neurons in his body that causes his muscles to tense and contract suddenly. kuroo will eventually die if he weren’t forced into a drug-induced coma.

he drops down to the ground, leaning against the wall as he chuckled at what the doctor had just said. of course, kuroo was definitely fighting off the pain to stay alive for them, but what the doctor or anyone else excluding the three friends knew that kuroo wanted to stay alive to see kenma be happy.

“you..fucking idiot...why? why did you _have to fall in love with your engaged best friend?_ ” oikawa laughs, covering his face as he teared up, completely forgetting that his friends were there. he looks at them, before smiling and putting a finger to his lips and gesturing that they better pretend nothing happened.

“he..likes me?” kenma’s voice was heard in the distance, and oikawa froze. fuck. he was absolutely screwed now that everybody knew about this, especially kenma. he stood up from his position on the cold floor, walking towards all of them. he took a deep breath, looking back to see that his friends were still gone, probably went to buy food as well.

oikawa tooru swore to keep everybody away from kuroo at his weakest state, and it will stay that way.

“don’t any of you dare step foot into this hospital with an intent of visiting him. you hear me?” that was oikawa’s first words when he was visible to all of them. angrily, he stared at kenma and hinata specifically. he did not need any of them making kuroo feel any worse than he already does.

“if i find out one of you visited him despite my warning, you will not like what happens.” oikawa smiles kindly, his tone venomous as he made it abundantly clear that he was not joking around and will do whatever it takes to prevent kuroo from being seen by these nosy people.

he could vaguely hear daishou, and he told them to scram. they nod, albeit hesitantly as oikawa crossed his arms in annoyance before walking back to his friends. they carried food, and went into the room. kuroo laid there, looking as peaceful as he did before this whole ordeal started.

—

kuroo looks at them, fidgeting nervously. he could see the look of despair on their faces, and he knew exactly why. tomorrow was his best friend’s wedding, and they all were being forced to go for it. somehow daishou got invited late, but he and mika were going because daishou didn’t want to go alone.

his eyes were practically begging them to let him go as well, but they all avoided his pleading stare and looked down. he sulked, but knew it was for his own good since he couldn’t talk or walk anymore. oikawa was about to speak when he remembered something and he shut his mouth.

“are you alright..with being alone tonight, tetsu?” bokuto asked, his joyful attitude somehow dissipated as he looked at kuroo with a look of worry, and the raven-haired male nodded weakly, his eyes sparkling just to show that he was going to be alright since they all have to be at the wedding venue early for some specific reason.

a few hours more, and they all one by one, slowly started to leave as kuroo used his eyes to bid them goodbye. he was now alone, as his eyes trail towards the massive window on his left that was from the ceiling to the floor. he looks up at the moon, unable to contain his excitement as his eyes sparkled and enjoyed the brightness and fullness of the moon that fine night.

‘i’m going to miss all this.’ 

‘i should’ve said it to him earlier.’

‘i’m sorry i didn’t tell you,’

‘that my time is almost over.’ 

these thoughts were floating through kuroo’s mind as he laid on the hospital bed, underneath the moonlight as he drank in the wonderful sight before his eyes. he knew that it was something he should’ve refused, rejected, he knew damn well that it was going to hurt everybody he knew, especially his friends.

kuroo tetsurou couldn’t believe he agreed that if his condition worsened and he gets respiratory failure, they are legally allowed to take him off life support and flat line him. they did not need to stop it from happening anymore. it was too early to predict whether it would really happen, but it was good to be prepared for anything. 

he could lose it all, or stay alive with this horrible condition. 

kuroo was about to close his eyes and go to bed, awaiting news about his best friend getting married on the headlines and from his friends coming to tell him that they had a good time. he could not do anything about it anymore, deciding to accept his fate and live on. he didn’t want to live in the past of what he could not do.

the door opened, and kuroo turns to the intruder slowly. his eyes had already adjusted to the dimness of the room despite the moon shining brightly into his room. he saw a mop of black and faded blonde hair, and he did not and could not say anything as he stared.

surprisingly, kenma kozume stood there in all his glory. kuroo tilts his head slightly, as kenma strode towards him. the latter didn’t say anything as he sat down on the chair, grabbing ahold of kuroo’s hand. 

“hi, kuroo.” were the first words that kenma said after two minutes of pure and uncomfortable silence. kuroo mentally said ‘hello’ back, which appeared on a tiny screen on the other side of his bed. the doctors installed in so he could chat with his friends without actually speaking. it used signals from the brain.

“i missed you, you know that?” kenma said softly, tightening his hold on kuroo’s hand, despite the latter not being able to feel it at all. 

‘back to you. how’s your fiancé?’ 

kenma smiled at the thought of hinata, but his smile soon dissipated when he remembered why he came to visit in the first place. his eyes flickered to look at kuroo’s face, with a resting face now that he could not offer his sly and cunning smiles, or the smirks that he could give whenever he was teasing someone.

the blonde truly missed kuroo’s voice. he missed everything about the raven-haired man. kenma missed the days kuroo would constantly tease him back in high school, or the times kuroo would ruffle his blonde hair whenever kenma was being stubborn or feeling down. he was never going to get that again.

“don’t mind about that. that is not the reason i came today.” kenma’s voice was strained, like he was forcing these words out. kenma just couldn’t believe it. his own best friend was dying of a disease that he hadn’t found out about until kuroo was having breathing failure.

“w-why didn’t you tell me? or anybody else from our team?” kenma looks at kuroo, with tears forming in his eyes. kuroo wished he could lift his hand to wipe away those tears, but he could only use his eyes to send signals of comfort.

‘don’t cry, kenma.’ 

“you think i can’t? who the hell wouldn’t cry when they find out their best friend was dying of a disease that destroys the neurons and prevents them from having an ability to move?” kenma spoke quickly, and kuroo had never seen him speak so much in forever. ah, he really was going to miss all of this.

kuroo didn’t know how to respond. he could only sadly watch his best friend cry over him. frail, old him. 

‘i didn’t want to bother you during your relationship. you should know this, kenma.’ 

“but that doesn’t mean you completely avoid me!” kenma’s voice was raised, but he cooled down as he remembered they were in a hospital late into the night. kuroo’s eyes widened at the sound of his voice being raised after such a long time. 

“you- i can’t believe none of us fucking knew...and what’s this about you liking me?” kenma’s voice became sharp and stern as kuroo finally froze. he was very unaware about this. was this why the three of them looked horrible in the afternoon, because they accidentally slipped? 

‘it’s nothing.’ kuroo’s words had no emotion to it as it was displayed on a screen, but kenma knew damn well that kuroo was being a stubborn person at the moment. he did not like that, and was going to break the man open if it’s the last thing he does.

“so you liking me was a lie? you’re just jealous i got into a relationship before you?” kenma’s words cut through kuroo like a knife, and the raven-haired man was once again rendered speechless. when kuroo didn’t respond, kenma took the answer as a yes.

“you’re horrible kuroo. just because you’re sick, you stoop down low enough to do that?” kenma said, and kuroo became frantic as he tried to explain, but his mind was all over the place with fear and many horrible thoughts, making it hard for him to make out words to explain how he truly felt.

“wow. thanks a lot kuroo. i think coming here was a grave mistake. well, i’ll be going now. have a good night. speedy recovery.” kenma stood up, letting go of kuroo’s hand and walking off without another word. kuroo was then again left in the dark, tears forming in his eyes as he watched kenma leave his life for good.

‘i love you kenma. ever since we were ten.’ 

kuroo went to sleep, tears in his eyes and the tears drying tracks onto his pale face. he had the tiniest smile on his face.

—

the wedding reception was alright. oikawa, daishou and bokuto were together throughout the whole thing, too worried for kuroo to actually enjoy anything. iwaizumi and akaashi tried to make the three of them have fun, since mika was with alisa at the moment.

“brighten up. we’re visiting kuroo once this ends.” iwaizumi whispers to his boyfriend, and oikawa sighs before loosening up and smiling slightly. he guesses he could have a little fun with them for now.

kenma and hinata walked towards them, the latter of the two smiling brightly and offering a smile in their direction as they talked. kenma not as much, but he looked tired and..guilty? oikawa squints suspiciously, but did not say anything in fear of him being wrong about his own assumption. 

the ring on their fingers glittered under the light as they danced together, making the three of them really wish that it was another person with that ring on his finger. when the party ended, they slowly walked to their cars and drove off to the hospital.

iwaizumi had a horrible gut feeling. he felt like something was wrong, but brushed it off as he continued to drive to the hospital so they could visit kuroo and tell him what happened and how it was. iwaizumi parked slowly, somehow all of them arriving at the same time.

they got off their own cars, walking as a group towards the reception who offers them nothing more than a pained smile. confusedly, they made their way to the lift as kuroo’s floor was near the top. this horrible feeling was setting in iwaizumi’s stomach as they neared the room. something was wrong.

it looked normal, when they reached. but akaashi immediately spots the lack of heart rate on the monitor, and everything was cleaned and there were more flowers in the room than any other room had. his eyes widened when he looks directly at kuroo.

he was not breathing. they notice this, and go into the room in a hurry. trembling, oikawa advances towards the bed, worried that his worst fear was coming true. he held kuroo’s hand, before leaning towards his chest and pressing his ear against it. he could not hear a heart beat.

oikawa chokes out a dry sob, shaking his head furiously as he refused to believe it. daishou and bokuto freeze, finally grasping the situation as tears welled up in their eyes as well. mika comforts akaashi, who as well felt himself tremble at the sight of a person he admired, dead. forever. 

“kuroo? please, please be joking,” iwaizumi says as he presses his hand on kuroo’s chest. when he didn’t feel anything but coldness, his heart sank into his stomach. it was not a joke this time. kuroo was really gone. oikawa broke down into a fit of sobs, as bokuto turns around and faces the wall, tears streaming down his face as he attempted to not make any noise.

daishou stood there, unable to control himself as he held kuroo’s hand tightly, trying to find any form of life in his best friend. when he didn’t, all his hopes came crashing down on him. mika watched as her ex boyfriend, now best friend, broke down into shambles.

oikawa shook his head, not wanting to believe the fact that kuroo, kuroo tetsurou, was now dead. he coughs and fails to breathe as his nose starts to become blocked due to the snot that formed from crying so hard. kneeling on the floor, the brunette wished that they didn’t go for the wedding.

“kuroo. tetsurou please, wake up..” oikawa sobs as mika walks over, rubbing his back before noticing a few pieces of writing paper folded neatly on the table, addressed to ‘his friends’. she picks it up, before opening it and reading it slowly. 

_hey guys, someone else is writing this for me. one of the nurses agreed to help me write this so i’ll keep it short. thank you, so much for making my life a little better ever since we graduated. i’m going to miss you all dearly, no matter how much i’ve teased you and insulted you before._

_tooru, i congratulate you for getting into the argentina team. you’re going to be amazing, and i know it. i’m sorry i can’t be there to cheer you on, but i’ll be watching you from above, so don’t cry okay? i love you buddy._

_iwaizumi, thank you for taking care of my best friend. please treat him well, he’s fragile. you’re a good guy, so i thank you for taking care of me. i wish you all the best in life, don’t waste it away like i did._

_koutarou, great job on making it to a professional team like tooru. i know you’ll fit perfectly, as seen in your recent match. don’t cry when i’m gone, you’ll be successful. i’m watching you, i love you, my best bro._

_suguru, despite having a rocky friendship at the start i’m glad we’re best friends now. go far in life, i’ll cheering you on. do your best, don’t give up like i did. whatever you do, put your mind to it. i’ll miss you, and i love you._

_kenma, oh there are a lot of things i wished to tell you. you’re a wonderful person and i’m sorry i didn’t get to explain myself to you. it’s true, i love you. but for more than a decade. thank you for being the best friend i needed as a kid. hopefully your marriage with hinata lasts. i didn’t want to tell you because i was fearful of losing our friendship and ruining your relationship with hinata._

_you were like a light that lit up the never ending tunnel in my life. you seemed so happy that i didn’t want to tell you. kenma, i’ll continue to love you even in the afterlife, and don’t forget about me. i just wished i did things differently back then. i wish i told you. it’s too late now, you hate me, don’t you?_

_whatever you feel towards me, thank you for visiting me one last time before the end of my time. i’m eternally grateful for you to visit me, even if the interaction wasn’t the best. at least i got to confess how i truly feel, didn’t i. i love you, so much kenma. this is my goodbye._

_thank you, all of you. for making my life more eventful and fun. i’m watching over you all, no matter where you are or what you are doing. i’ll miss you, you know? i love you all so fucking much that it hurts. goodbye, i’ll see you guys next time._

_kuroo tetsurou._

mika was crying, tears streaming down her face as she could not comprehend whatever she just read out. she gave the letter to iwaizumi, as she sat beside daishou and cried as well. she was not that close to kuroo, but she wished that she talked to him, to get to know him better. 

‘goodbye guys. and thank you.’ 

oikawa was violently sobbing on the ground with iwaizumi soothing him, while bokuto leaned his head against the wall as akaashi back hugged him. daishou was on the floor, mika crying in his shoulder as they all mourned the death of kuroo.

‘you all are soldiers, thank you for holding strong for me.’

“this is a sick joke. he’s..not d-dead..right?” bokuto mutters as he hiccups, shaking his head. he refused to believe it. he couldn’t believe his best friend since high school was actually gone. bokuto knew kuroo hadn’t even had a taste of what life had to offer, before it got taken away from him.

“please..come back.” daishou whispers as he looks up at the ceiling, hoping the gods hear him and bring back his best friend. kuroo was the one that made his life more fun, worthwhile, even as enemies back in high school and middle school. 

hearts were broken as sobs echoed throughout the room.

—

the news was heard by everybody that knew who kuroo was. no matter where they met him, they found out. it was all too sudden, making it hard for everybody to comprehend and let that information sink into their heads. there could be no way, that the cunning, sly, playful and slightly arrogant kuroo tetsurou was gone.

it was the same reaction for everybody. the brief feeling of sadness coursed through their veins, as they grasp onto the fact that ‘hey, he’s gone. we’ve lost another life.’ which indeed hit a spot in their hearts, making them ache for the people who were downright devastated by the loss of a fellow friend.

‘don’t miss me now that i’m gone. reminisce the memories we had together.’ 

the nekoma team found out about the news of their fellow captain. they were beyond devastated, their heart clenching tightly at the fact they were unable to give him a proper goodbye. yaku and kai had to bring the team together to mourn for the loss of their captain.

but when the news reached kenma and hinata, it was then it felt like the world was not a good place anymore. hinata was shocked, that kuroo was dead. it was too soon, he was too young. kenma, however, didn’t move from the spot he was on when he heard the news.

every gear was turning in his brain as he tried to remember everything that they had done together ever since they met, trying to forget the fact that his very own best friend had left him, for good. kenma had no idea what to feel, shouldn’t he feel angry? sad? 

kenma was beyond sad. he was agonised, that kuroo had died and the last words he heard from someone he knew were that he lowered his standards and acted like a dickhead. kuroo left this world with the mentality that he was in the wrong. kenma wondered if kuroo felt like he didn’t deserve to be in the world any longer. 

‘don’t feel upset.’ 

he was downhearted. kenma wished he could reverse time, allow kuroo to explain himself instead of storming out and leaving kuroo. kenma broke down, unable to contain himself at the mere thought that he had left kuroo in the dark. the same kuroo that always helped him up when he was upset, or felt like he didn’t belong. 

he had left kuroo all alone in the time when he needed someone the most, especially after he helped kenma for years with no end. no matter the circumstance, kuroo was always there for kenma whenever he needed it. and kenma could not even do the same for the person that sacrificed and went through so much pain to make kenma happy.

hinata had decided to leave kenma alone for now, as kenma punched the wall in anger. he was livid at himself for leaving his best friend, for giving up their friendship over something he didn’t even know whether it was true. he heard hinata talking to someone over the phone, assuming it was kageyama who told him the details of the funeral. 

—

his friends couldn’t even look at the others in the eye. the funeral was out in the open, in the park that kuroo grew up in. the funeral service was silent as kenma could only hear the sobs of the closest friends of kuroo, including yaku and kai. 

—

kenma sat down, a month after the death of his best friend. he was doing well with hinata, though the thought of kuroo liking him and dedicating everything to kenma for more than a decade made his heart hurt every time. he chuckled bitterly, looking up at the sky.

he sat under a large tree, the same tree that kuroo used to climb up all the time. kenma sat there, leaning against the gravestone of his best friend, holding a bouquet of kuroo’s favourite flowers; daisies. he put the bouquet in front of the grave, as he smiled while looking up at the sky.

“you know. i wish i apologised.” kenma whispered as he took out a small piece of paper that oikawa had given him at the funeral. the brunette specifically told him to only read it when kenma visits kuroo’s grave, so that was what he did. he held the paper, that was frayed. opening it, he saw someone else’s handwriting. 

but it was definitely addressed to him. kenma relaxed, still leaning against the gravestone as he slowly read it. his eyes widen after each sentence, the tears dripping onto his jeans as he furiously wiped them away. he was correct. kuroo died thinking that kenma hated him. that, was the worst way that someone could feel before their life gets taken away from them.

“i can’t believe you. tetsurou...i’ve never hated you. and i never will.” kenma sobbed as he held the paper on for dear life. his hands move to touch the top of the gravestone, as he closed his eyes and cried his eyes out. the number of feelings he was experiencing within the few minutes of reading that short letter had brought him so much pain. 

“tetsurou, if we were still together in some other universe, i wish you confessed to me. you moron, i can’t believe..” he trailed off as he continued to cry even harder. tears were unstoppably streaming down his pale face as he felt disgusting for not realising sooner. 

“i just wished you didn’t keep it to yourself. you made yourself suffer for so long, and i didn’t even know. kuroo tetsurou, i don’t hate you. i never had. i miss you..so fucking much that i can’t even describe it. i love you so much, you fucking dumbass!” kenma screamed as he rubbed his eyes profusely.

there was a gust of wind that blew in his direction. he shivered slightly, but froze when he vaguely hears the soft, yet somewhat boisterous laughter of kuroo, as if he was still there, joking around with kenma. the latter shook his head, still crying as he shouted a large string of curses at nobody but the sky, yelling about how much he missed kuroo. 

“i love you, i don’t hate you!” kenma screamed at the top of his lungs, veins popping on his forehead and on his neck as he panted, clearly becoming out of breath as he stared. 

another gust of wind blew, and kenma’s eyes became blurry once again, when he could hear that same deep voice that comforted him so much up until graduation. the same voice, that used to annoy him back in high school whenever kenma refused to go for volleyball practice. the same soothing voice that brought so much happiness into kenma’s life.

_“thank you.”_

kenma finally put a smile on his face.

“goodbye and thank you for all the memories, tetsurou.”

**Author's Note:**

> hi yes,, i am well aware that my story uses the same disease as “i thought the galaxy is endless” , and i found out after my friend told me like just now after i posted this so this is just a note saying that in no way or shape did i copy the story !! because i haven’t even read it :))


End file.
